I'm here feeling so lost and wondering when I'll be ready to write something on my blog again...
It's been 1 month and 2 days since my adorable son left this world. I can't understand why and I feel so lost! He was my everything, I dream about him everyday, I cry everyday... Only if you have been trough this you can imagine how hard it is.
I can't really cry with my family because I think then I'll be more sad and I don't feel my mom is strong enough to help me now! I can't loose her aswell. My sis lost her husband I can't make her more sad. It's just not fair on them.
My husband is suffering so much and he only cries with me so it makes even harder. I have to be strong for them but it's hard.
I lost my only son why can't I cry? why can't I just give up of everything and just go aswell? The only thing I want is to be with Mikaal again. Sometimes it feels like forever, I wanna see him now.
Yesterday on the way to the graveyard I saw Mikaal smiling, was not the same smile it was better, bigger and happier so I had a very good day yesterday but today I'm missing him so much.
What if today is as good as it gets???