I don't know nothing about my feelings anymore...
Sometimes I feel I can't be with my husband anymore but I know I love him and he loves me but since our son left this world is just hard being around him...
Sometimes I want to make lots of plans, study again, start work, travel... but other days I just wanna be left alone and do nothing...
Sometimes I wanna travel somewhere but then I feel is not right, it feels like I'll leave my son behind (I know he's not here only his grave is)...
Sometimes I wanna be happy for other people who have kids but it feels like impossible, I feel angry, I feels jealous of them...
Sometimes I just wanna be pregnant again but it doesn't feel right... it feels like I want to forget Mikaal with another baby...
Sometimes I just want to be "normal" and don't feel this pain anymore but I can't...
Sometimes I just wish I could die but I have to wait for my time(to get a chance to see Mikaal in heaven)
Sometimes I wish I could have a little happy day but it doesn't seem possible...
But everytime I only wish my son was here again with me...
It's getting harder everyday!
It WILL get better. I promise. Everything is so fresh for you at the moment.
ReplyDeleteJust go with how your feeling each day. If your feeling sad and need to cry all day thats ok but remember that when you are having a good day its ok to smile as well. It doesnt mean you have moved on or forgotten.
Hugs
xxx